Thursday, 26 April 2012

Where have March & April Gone...

I woke up this morning at 5:27am, to a beautiful pink dawn breaking.  I grabbed my camera and set foot on my door step to take this snap.  It was bloody freezing!



So I grabbed my lap top and jumped back into bed, which is where I am right now.

Arthur is looking sitting on the window ledge.  Should have called him Michael Paine!





And Robbie is taking up most of the bed as usual...




It feels good to be home, it is calm here, and at this moment my mind is at peace.

I spent two weeks with Becs, her daughter Beth, and dog Bosco.  Although I did pop home for a couple of days during that time, to grab a couple of bits. 
Becs dad would have been so proud of his wife, and three children.  They worked together so well to make sure it had a beautiful send off.  It was full of love, just those closest to him were there. Her dad wasn't a religious man, so they wanted a service that was just about him, and his love for his family.  The minister did a wonderful job, even though he had never met her dad before.  He was a nice man (he was a butcher in his day), with bright twinkling eyes, and the way he delivered the short service, you would have thought that he did know her dad for all of his life.  I have to say, as funerals go, it was the nicest one I have ever been to.  Although everyone bought flowers, they did not leave them at the crematorium.  Everyone took there own flowers home with them, which I thought was a lovely thing to do.

After the service we went back to Becs sisters' house.  She laid on a really nice spread, and we were all hungry by that time.  Bec's nieces were there to greet us, as they were to young to go to the service.  One being the sweetest little girl of almost 3, and the newest addition to the family, her little sister, who was born 2 days after their Great-Grandad had died.

It is amazing how children can turn a sad situation, into a precious one...







It had been a long day.  When we went back to her flat, we put our cozzies on, and then stayed put on Becs' sofa.  We were exhausted...

But not exhausted enough to have a moment of being our usual selves.... as you can see.


video



I returned home, and the sun came out.  It became the hottest March, since 1997.  I remember that March clearly.  It was my last March before I married in September 1997.  I lay over Hainault Country Park spread out on on a hill catching rays.  At that time, 80% of my body was covered in Psoriasis, a condition I have suffered with since the age of 3.  The sunshine is very good for it, and helps it heal.

The ironic thing is, that this year was my first year of having my liberty back, after a tough painful divorce.  And I loved the feeling of soaking up the sunshine, on my decking, in just my panties, painting lots of pots (something I love doing as it really does relax me).



I spent a lot of time preparing my garden for the coming summer...


And I was feeling Good (I feel a Nina Simone song coming on here!)





At the beginning of April, I returned back to Hainault.  I wanted to spend some time with my folks.  My dad had just finished his last chemo session.  I also wanted to spend some time with son.  I love being where I am, but the thing I truly miss is my boy. 

Becs met me at Gidea Park station, and we went for a lovely walk with Beth and Bosco.  It was good to see that they looked so well, after such a sad loss for all of them.  Becs was at a much happier place than when I had left her a few weeks earlier.  She says it is nice to know that her father went so peacefully, and that he was not suffering anymore. 





The above Pic was taken by Becs... I think it is stunning



I decided to stay at the home of TLOML, because my brother, his wife and their two sons (my precious nephews) were staying with my folks for a few days.  They were waiting to move into their new home (which they have now done).

My dad coped so well during this time, considering the last blast of chemo had really knocked him for six... thankfully he is feeling much better now, and has also finished the last of his chemo tablets.  My folks have now booked a holiday to Jamaica, and are leaving on the 9th May.  I think it is fantastic.

It was chaotic at my folks, as a cat who lives in their garden, since a neighbour who owned them, had just disregarded her two cats when she decided to get a dog instead.  One of them had kittens, which my folks took in and cared for them, until they were ready to find new homes.

There were 5 kittens in all.  They went to three new homes, which was lovely, as two sets of 2 were kept together, and the other one went to a lovely girl, a friend of my sons'.




 





My little nephews who are aged 2 and 18 months loved the kits.  It was a pleasure to see them being so gentle with them.




 
I was due to come home, but something happened, which stopped me in my tracks.  Nothing could predict what was going to happen next.  Not even in my worst nightmare.

I am not going to go into to very much detail, as the police are involved.  But I have had had to watch my oldest, dearest friend suffer as no mother should have to.  It has been a very painful experience.  And watching her and her family suffer in desperation has bought me crashing down.  Hopefully, I will be able to blog in time about the experience, if only to help other families who could be suffering in the same way.

My friends son turned 16 in March.  It turns out that a person who was posing as his 18 year old boyfriend, turns out to be a man who going to be 28 in July.  This person has been 'Grooming' her son, since he was 14.5 years old.  Her son ran off with this person, and something made my friend think that all was not right.  She trusted her son, so at the time did not think anything untoward.  They finally researched the man in question, and what they found out threw our world into a crisis... A helpless situation.

C&R I think of you all the time... C and I have shared a life together since we were 7 years old.  We have been through many situations together, but nothing can beat this one.

Since I have returned home, things have settled a little.  The rain and wind have been non-stop!  When will it let the summer sun shine through is anyone guess??

The only ones who are loving it are the ducks...









Sunday, 8 April 2012

Please stay with me here...

At the moment I am sitting alone in the Living room of TLOML. I am using his keyboard and I have to say it is proving Bloody Difficult.  It is an European keyboard and the keys are in different places to what I am used to as a touch typist... it is also bloody funny if you were to be watching me try to type with it!

So pleqse forgive ,e if you see qny ,istqkes like this zee sentqnce I hqve just typed::: love it!!

Since I moved back to my little Haven, things have not gone how I expected them to go.  I am one of those people who live for the moment. I love writing, but not even I could have written what was coming next, in my next chapter!

As soon as I am back at my little haven I will add photos to this blog.  I will also add more writing.

On March 2nd Becs bought me back to my little Haven; we had a lovely day.  We had a shop over the folks local shops.  I picked up a couple of gifts for my folks.  I then stuffed my moggies into boxes to take on the 60 mile journey back to my favourite place in all of the world.

That seems like many moons to me...

On Tuesdqy the 6th March I received a call from my sister.  I was in the middle of the woods, walking my neighbour  Del's dog, settling into the life I love so much.  Bec's had been helping my sister that day, when she received the call to say her Dad had died.  I became disorientated in a place that I knew.  I moved forward a couple of paces, when my phone rang again, this time it was Becs herself.  I burst in to tears like I always do, and she came across so calm, to anyone who didn't know her, but to me it was a different story.

I went back and made plans to return to Romford the next day. 

The train journey went well, and when I arrived at Romford Station I smiled to myself.  YOU CQN TQKE THE GIRL OUT OF RO?FORD. BUT YOU CQN%T TQKE THE RO?FORD OUT OF THE GIRL!!

The first person I saw as I come out the station was my Old next door neighbour, who will one day have a whole blog page dedicated to her!  but for now, lets just say that it made my day seeing her, and probably ruined hers...

My first port of call was to see my folks.  My dad was in his getting better week, and preparing himself for his final chemo session.  It is not yet sure, whether they will offer him another blast of the cruel posion that makes him fight for his life.

Whilst I was there, TLOML came there.  I had not seen him since Christmas evening, as he hqd gone to Spain for 2 months, to try and give me some space... but that is a whole different blog space in its self.

Later that evening LOML dropped me off at Becs flat.  When I walked into the living room, and sqz her lying there on the sofa, all curled in and broken, my heart went out to her.  And from that moment I began nursing my friend, just as she would do for me.

I am very tired now, and these keys ain't making it any easier

for instance this is how the last sentence would look, if I stopped concentrating...

I q, very tired noz; qnd these keys qinl^t ,qkeing it qny eqsier

for instqnce this is hoz the lqst sentence zould look; if I stopped concentrqting:::

I will carry on again soon, and would appreciate if you, as my readers, would carry on popping in from time to time?

What is going on in my life right now is a crisis, and is going to test my strengh to the limit right now.

Thursday, 1 March 2012

A few thank you(s)...

Tomorrow I go home.  I am filled with mixed emotions.  I know that I will never get this time back with them again, it brings tears to my eyes, and a heaviness to my throat.

My dad was refused chemo (due to white cells) on Tuesday.  Before that he was feeling better.  Then yesterday he began to feel poorly with stomach pains.  He has been a little better today.  However it is worrying for all of us.  I just wish I had a magic wand.

As I type this blog, I am exhausted so will stop typing and publish this post, when I can now longer keep my eyes open.  

I've had a lovely day.  I returned to my nest for the first time in two months.  I loved it more than the day I found it. 


This was taken the day I found my 'Dream Home'


I packed a small case to stay with my folks.  Over the last two months I have accumulated so much new stuff for it.  I took it back today with the help of Craggy.  An ex-client who has now become a much cherished friend.

Thank you Craggy <3 x 


I also want to say thank you for all of the PMs and emails from other clients, who I now think of as friends.  I'm sorry that my responses have been short.  I have received a large number of them and wish I had more time to respond to them all.  In no particular order I want to thank J for all of your support and advice.  AR, GM and TB, thanks for the sweet messages and I will be in touch soon.  MM for your sweet messages too.

Mz and Sarah thank you for your support, you gave me lots to think about.  Mz you sound as lovely on the phone as you do when you post and PM.

PBW I will be in touch soon.  Hope all is good in your new home.

MissCupcakes we will meet up soon.  Sorry I was feeling poorly and couldn't make Wednesday.  I miss you.   

Ania, I will see you in April, and I will hold you to that massage (she really is the best), my funny friend.

Caroline my dearest friend, I am going to miss you very much.  I will see you soon.  I can't wait for you to come visit.  I love you x x

Tomorrow Bezzie Becs, my rock, will be collecting me and the cats at 11:30am. 



OK, my eyes are dropping... and I have a busy day ahead tomorrow, so really get some shut eye.  I will return home, and tell you in my next blog about the week leading up to my trip home, and how it feels to be back.

I am going to sign off for a couple of days as I have so much to do.  Please keep having a peek to see when I am back.

Take care for now x x

Friday, 24 February 2012

Dear All, I have had a very busy couple of weeks. I have not had the chance to write as much, as I would have liked. Still I wouldn't change the past two weeks for all the money in the world... x

The snow came


Grange Hill - Chigwell

 


I also met some lovely snow men and ladies. 
A kind stranger took a photo of me and my new found friends. 
Nobody knew who created these fantastic pieces of art. 
Bet their gloves were wet by the time they finished.



Over the back you can just spot some houses. 
When I was a young girl I dreamt of owning one of them...




How cute is this dog? 



So Together....

The snow soon disappeared, leaving a taste of spring.

Last Sunday my folks and I took a trip to London.  My dad was at the beginning of his 'Good Week' so We put on our warm clobber (my dad wore a coat he's had in his wardrobe, and never worn for over 40 years... my beloved nan bought it for him), and went for a walk round the West End.

We had a look around for a couple of hours, visiting places that bought back our own separate memories...


Open your eyes Dadzie...


Open your eyes Mumzie....


How cute is my Mumzie?



Mmm Suspicious?


Cheeki Boy!!


Shake a Little Ass...


Way to close....


The first place my folks ever went for a Curry... many moons ago



This pub was bombed on 12th October 1992  by the IRA
I was a single parent to a 2 month old baby when this happened.

A year before the bomb went off, I would drink regular in The Sussex...

The Sussex was to be the 2nd time that the IRA had effected my life.


Centre Point
















The Piazza - Covent Garden

And then we made our way towards 'Chinatown' to meet my sister and her other half for a Chinese, my dads choice...


Bella Pasta St. Martins Lane
This is the first place I went for something to eat
with a dear friend of mine, Syd.
Although I haven't called or written for a while, it doesn't mean
 I'm not thinking of you

I think you know that anyway... x 



This used to be the Long Island Iced Tea Shop
Syd and I spent many a drunken hour in there
(Well I was anyway!!)  For every 2 drinks bought for me
Syd would buy me another one...

By the end of the night I was on a 'Merry One'!!




and to my good friend Angie 'Yes! Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Bear...





Guys.... PM me for details!!







My dad greeting my sister Lil and her other half
Yes he really is that tall...
and she is that small

Love you Lil x x


Wonder if they would be the same size Lying down?




Yesterday my dad had a winner on his daily flutter

Me:  What was the name of the horse dad?

Dad:  I can't help it if I have a 'Dirty Mind'!!

Me:  What was the name of the horse dad?

Dad:  Bareback

Me:  Dad!